I think it's only natural to wonder how having children will affect ones marriage. I obviously can't answer that myself since we don't have children yet, but it is something I ponder every now and then. I came across an article today that made me think about my own marriage. I have always been a very strong advocate for not letting the kids come between your marriage. I know it's easier said than done, but I think a successful marriage is the foundation for a strong family. Here is the article I was referring to:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/29/p.stronger.marriage.secret/index.html
I come from a divorced family. Now that I'm older and wiser it's not something that phases me one bit. I love the new families I have gained out of it and I'm mature enough to understand it had nothing to do with us kids. When I was six however that was a different story. It was very tough on my sister and I to hear our parents fight, and ultimately divorce. Following the divorce my mother took us to Switzerland, and my father stayed in the States. To say that was an adjustment for us doesn't even come close to explaining how painful it was to go through. Not having both parents together wasn't easy, and seeing them with new love interests in their lives even worse. Sometimes it's easy to forget how difficult certain things were for oneself the older we get, it helps to try to remember so we can be more understanding with our own children.
All I know is I love my marriage and my husband more than anything and I won't let anything come between us. Easier said than done...absolutely! But it's too imporatant not to!
Tips from Mom's and Dad's:
Dad’s say:
“Spontaneous acts of kindness and expressions of love, the simpler the better. Unexpected flowers, a little note, a simple caress at the kitchen sink, just be sure it's focused on saying I LOVE YOU!”
-Tom, Duluth
“Hire a babysitter and go on frequent dates!”
-Gus, El Paso
“2 suggestions...
1 - Get rid of the kids! Hah! Seriously though, even just for an evening, it does wonders.
2 - No, seriously... get rid of the kids!”
-Miguel, Troy
“When I get home from work, I automatically take the kids over for a while; let the wife "walk". She takes her computer out to the desk in the garage for a while, with no kids on her back, scores major points, always puts her in a better mood.”
-Terry, Garden City
“My wife likes when I plan a meal, shop, and then prepare it. It's not gourmet, but it shows her that I appreciate all she does for the family.”
-James, Niskayuna
“To always appreciate each other and take the time to look at the person and always hug.”
-Richard, Randolph
“Be spontaneous don’t let things get in a rut, always try something new”
-Mike, West Rutland
“Pencil in time for sex on your schedule!”
-Richard, Winston Salem
“Always kiss each other goodnight”
- Christopher, Elk Grove
“Don't yell at her!”
-Earl, Arnoldsburg
And the Mom’s say:
“Always make your spouse Number ONE. The kids will grow up and leave.”
-Deborah, Forest Lake
“Date night. One night a week, get a babysitter and spend time alone together relaxing. We will celebrate 27 years soon and without that time as a "couple" we would have been completely out of touch with each other when the kids left home.”
-Corinne, Shawnee
“Vacations away for just the two of us would keep our marriage fresh.”
-Tammy, Monrovia
“Don't forget why you fell in love and make your partner your 1st priority.”
-Laura, Portland
“Take time to chill on the couch with just the two of you.”
-Denise, Santaquin
“Take time for yourself. Love each other passionately. Never let the kids sleep in your bed (you will never get them out) Communicate, have quiet time together.”
-Stacy, Lynchburg
“Learn to have fun with the little things. A romantic dinner together at home can be just as special as going out.”
-Rita, Cherry Hill
“The best advice I got was to find the time for each other even if you have to schedule it, like you would any other appointment or thing on your to do list.”
-Cherie, Mesa
“Never go to bed mad, plan a date night at least once a month and be as forgiving and understanding as you want her to be.”
-Laura, Royse City
“Remember to lock the bedroom door!”
-Ellen, Saint Augustine
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